Tonight I Remember

I am so very blessed. two INCREDIBLE best friends, one whom I've known all her life [I'm two months older]!! and now we are all high school graduates, one in college. All strong Christians, and completely in love with the Lord. How can I feel forsaken when I see all that He has done in and to and for we three?!
WE are so blessed, to have the Lord, to each have our amazing families, to have each other.
I love you Ariel and Eve!
-b.c He lives and reigns,
Today has been amazing. truly amazing. Tonight has been painful. Excruciatingly, terribly painful.
And yet God's Hand covers it all. His Love has never left. In fact, I feel it more now, when I am hurting, than I did when opening presents this morning.
God surrounds all. He fills every gap, revives every breath, gives meaning to every moment.

I love my friends- and tonight I had to deal with 2 heartbreaking matters:
my best friend, who means the world to me, and for whom I would do almost anything: her grandfather passed away, unexpectedly, this evening. A precious, warm, loving grandfather, and it hurt. But he loved the Lord with all of his heart, and I look forward to living all of eternity with him!

A friend who I have known for years, and loved as a brother: tonight we had to part ways, because we are two very different paths. And it kills because I don't know if I will ever see him in this world, or in the lifetime after, ever again. and this grieves me more than the grandfather's death. Papa's death is limited- a life is but a breath away from ending, and when it does, the gloriousness of eternity with Christ! my earthly friend and I's separation- it may be eternal, a never ending separation. Papa's death, though unnatural and awful, is better for him- he is with his Lord and Maker, his Savior and friend! my old friend, if he continues like he is, will never know the joy I bask in.

Oh that all mens' hearts will be touched, their eyes opened, and they may see and rejoice in God our Father!!! Oh how painful when they are blinded, and die blind.

I cannot write now . I am sorry for the sad ending, but how can I end better? Tonight, two of my friends' lives have gone in separate directions: one to Christ, to live eternally for Him. one for self, and eventually to live eternally in selfish hate and animosity towards Christ. Which path are you on? there is no neutral ground.


I have, quite recently, discovered the joy of handwriting letters. As my mother would say, its a sign of maturity! ;) Several friends [*cough Megan, Hannah, Robert, Courtney, Molly, Daniel cough*] have tried to convert me in the past, writing me letters, sometimes up to 10 or more, before coming to the sad realization that, alas, I was not writing in return. And it wasn't because I wasn't fascinated by mail coming to me [really? mail for me? in the box? as in, i can hold it in my hand and see their penmanship?!?! WOW!]. And it wasn't because I didn't love them and wish them that same joy as well. Instead, it was due, in large part, to laziness. And lack of stamps.
Sometimes, I would get a letter, and immediately run upstairs to write back. Often, I would get as far as the stairs. Then, something or another would catch my attention. Or, if it was really special, I would have even written the letter and stuck it into an envelope, with their name written prettily upon the front. [No address? its a shame.] I have run across probably 4 or 5 of these while cleaning out papers on my desks. No, I cannot put all the blame on missing addresses or empty stamp holders.
The real problem was this: I had nothing of importance to say. After all, there is only so far a conversation can go on the latest picture taken, or hike in the woods, before it must either die or go deeper. And I had nothin' in my noggin! Oh, I was reading: but wouldn't you rather read a Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys for yourself, than have someone recap it for you? And I was listening intently in church: but sermon notes only go so far if you aren't really learning from them.
Frankly, I was stuck.
But God is so good- My life took several major turns, during which time I did not write, not because I had nothing to say, but because I was learning how much better it is at times to listen. And now I am writing again. I am definitely still listening- that lesson I pray will not have to happen again, but will remain with me. But I can write again, and find joy in sharing with my loved ones what I daily am being taught by My Father. And now I see- what a blessing it is to write handwritten letters!
Therefore, I encourage you [oh people who happen upon this post]: write, and learn to write! but don't write emptily- write with a heart and passion for Christ. Copy what you read in Scripture; learn to write as David and Solomon, and the saints who have gone before us, and those who are still with us! to do so, to really learn to write, you must read. Read The Valley of Vision, prayers from fellow Christians who have already gone on, but left us a great legacy in writing. Read Augustine, Calvin, Knox, Luther, Fox's Book of Martyrs, read men and women, and of men and women, who, though fallible and sinners just like us, loved the Lord so much and devoted all of their time to passing down for future generations [for us! and our children!] what knowledge and wisdom they had gained! Don't be foolish in thinking, as we younger generation so often do, that we must learn "from experience" , and try and live on our own [limited] wisdom and knowledge and experiences. "Experience is a dear teacher", meaning hard, not beloved. Learn from the past to affect your present and change the future. grow upon it, not starting your own little building, but build upon the foundations already set down for you!
I encourage you: learn to love handwritten letters. :)


I was feeling rather overwhelmed. For someone who shoots in color, I think of the world in black and white. and some things don't work like that. That has always been a very difficult issue in my life, a battle I am constantly waging. However, today was a good lesson in humility, patience, and remembering it is never all about me, or even mostly about me.

“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become
tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. "
“Let your light shine before men in such a way that they
may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven."

We are here to serve our God- not concentrate on what we think is best for us. Feeling overwhelmed?
Read [His Word]. Rethink [your actions]. Review [your life]. Rework [for Him].

I feel adVenturous.