unexpected loss

the wind blows, cool, over the tops of sunlit trees, but my eyes dont focus. how many times i can think back and specify when God might have called me home, and yet He protected my life for a little longer.
A few nights ago, i should have been in a car wreck. Driving home about 9:30 pm, a young deer ran in front of my car, turned and ran back the way it came. I was going about 45 around a curve, and couldnt see it until it turned. I slowed the car as quickly and gently as i could, but it still swerved and hit the back of the deers legs. A car was behind me but far enough to give them time to stop before they hit me. the deer ran off, and i was safe. All the time it took was two seconds, but if i had been going faster, if the car behind me wasnt paying attention, if that deer hadnt decided to turn around. Life can be built upon the word "if". it can also be destroyed.
This morning my dad told me an old friend of mine was killed in a car accident last night, along with her boyfriend, and possibly another friend. They were on their way home from a wedding rehearsal and he overcorrected so as not to hit a car in front of them. Somehow they still wrecked, and at least their 2 lives were lost. Caroline was a precious and God-fearing Christian, who had the biggest heart of gold. Her life will be missed most painfully. And yet i feel alright to smile because i know she is in the most coveted position- she is safe and complete and PERFECTED in her Fathers Arms. And though even I, who lost touch with her over the years and therefore didnt know her as well as id like to have, am grieving over losing her, I wouldnt wish her sorrow and pain and grief and hurt that could be found here if they had lived. Thank You Oh Lord for the 19 years You gave us with her. We will miss her, but we know she is now safe in Your Loving Arms.
But also, on another thought, her testimony she left , her life memories. What a witness for Christ she had. What will people say about you when u die? Will they rejoice for you that you are with Christ, that no harm will ever befall u again? Will they sob and weep because they know u are not with Christ, but in Hell? Caroline left us with bitter sweet times. We cry because we will miss her, miss her own smiles and joy and life, but we know she is safe so we dont cry forever. Will people cry forever about u? are you striving to live every moment like it is your last? Caroline lived a full life because she had Christ. No matter what else she had, her life became full when Christ entered it. Someday i hope i leave a testimony so that people will say that about me.

soli deo gloria