admissions

however oppositely i seem, i am not at all a confident person. i dont trust well, and yet i do at the same time. Its confusing when i type it, but i know what i mean, which is mainly what matters at the moment. I know, and God knows :]
My parents are the strongholds that i run to when i need support. they and my siblings help me as i mature towards adulthood, and i am continually grateful for them. But what is it in a person that makes it so difficult to trust? is it purely a sinful nature? or is it because we know our own faults that it makes it frustrating and a trial to trust to someone else whom we also know deals with sin?
Tomorrow morning we leave for VA, and i am anxious. Under normal circumstances (then again, no circumstance seems to fit the term "normal") i would be exuberant and jumping for joy, but now i am just waiting for a phone call, a txt, or something! having not heard from this person in almost 2 weeks since the now-outstanding question, my already painfully small amount of patience is running thin, and those around me are having to suffer me jumping each time a phone rings, staring into space while in the midst of setting the table, so on and so forth. I know , I know that the call may never come, and it needs to not be such a big issue. but it is, and that knowledge isnt computing to my subconsious. *sigh* i have a very long way to go before i become what i should be as a Preacher's daughter, especially one so revered by others as my father is. Not to mention how much further i have before i become as sanctified as my Heavenly Father demands. One thing i cant wait for heaven-- i wont have to worry about not trusting fully!! Only at night do i let these thoughts come to the front of my mind for more than a few moments. ...... maybe i should go to bed earlier........

well, i do need to finish packing- just needed to think this through, and type out my thoughts. goodnight and may God be with you!

b.c He Lives and Reigns

><> me <><